Review: Suddenly Royal by Nichole Chase

Series: Suddenly #1
Publication Date: April 17, 2013
Reading Level: New Adult
Pages: 465 (eBook)
Source: Bought
Samantha Rousseau is used to getting her hands dirty. Working toward a master’s degree in wildlife biology while helping take care of her sick father, she has no time for celebrity gossip, designer clothes, or lazy vacations. So when a duchess from the small country of Lilaria invites her to dinner, Samantha assumes it’s to discuss a donation for the program. The truth will change the course of her life in ways she never dreamed.

Alex D’Lynsal is trying to keep his name clean. As crown prince of Lilaria, he’s had his share of scandalous headlines, but the latest pictures have sent him packing to America and forced him to swear off women—especially women in the public eye. That is, until he meets Samantha Rousseau. She’s stubborn, feisty, and incredibly sexy. Not to mention heiress to an estate in his country, which makes her everyone’s front-page news.

While Sam tries to navigate the new world of politics and wealth, she will also have to dodge her growing feelings for Alex. Giving in to them means more than just falling in love; it would mean accepting the weight of an entire country on her shoulders.

~*~Lili's Reflections~*~

Both Christina and I went at this one with positivity in mind. We decided to do a new adult read-a-long centering around this new adult re-telling of the Princess Diaries because we've struggled with a lot of new adult lately. We took to twitter with high hopes and hilariousness ensued because of our sheer hatred for this novel. I've been sitting on this review for a while simply because I disliked it so much. Disappointing does not begin to cover it and its lack of redeeming qualities. Really, this is just a list of everything that made me hate this book. There will be spoilers and intense sarcasm because I can't bring myself to write a thoughtful review after stewing over my supreme

The insta-love was infuriating. It was pretty much love at first sight. I was hoping it would be lust at first sight. But no, it was love. Cheesy, sucky, annoying love that progressed at a terrible rate. And let me tell you, one of these people was a Prince. Alex, you did not need to try so hard. Yet you did. All the time. Really, you are the most game-less player I have ever seen. You need to stop because you just had me rolling my eyes all the damn time. You're like a Monopoly board with no dice and all the cash. People play with you only because they have the potential to be rich, but all you do is waste their damn time. Nichole Chase, you sure you didn't you team up with Lady Gaga? This is nothing but a bad romance. A bland, bad romance with cringe-worthy flirting.

But, I must admit...I experienced a moment of true love upon meeting the wonderful, I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR! mug! <3

The love interest should not be Prince Yummy, he should be Prince Stereotypical. Why, hello there walking, Prince Charming! It's not as if I've never met you before. You're blonde, you're hot, you secretly have a heart, you're apparently amazing in bed. Oh? You've had your ass plastered all over the Internet by an evil ex who used you for sex and money and got pissed when you wouldn't marry her? If it hurts you so much, you're a freaking Prince! You can pay everyone off to take that shit down. Prince Yummy, you ain't yummy unless you have a brain. And character. You have neither. Buh-bye!

The pacing was non-existent. There was none. I don't know how long this book lasted, but almost every chapter began with "another week passed" or some variation of the aforementioned terminology. Oh, and it doesn't take six hours to play a game and a half of Monopoly. I've flown to Ireland, just stop. If you want to play games for chapters and keep our interest, play strip poker. Even then, I don't think this book could be interesting.

There must be no world since there's no world building. Seriously, none. I have absolutely no clue about anything relating to Lilaria. It's in Europe, you have to stop in Ireland to get there. They were invaded by the Nazi's once, and they have a strong alliance with the French. A lot of characters seem to have Italian names. They speak Lilarian that's never mentioned since everyone can conveniently speak English in this country. My guess is that if this country were real, it would be located where Switzerland is located. But I wouldn't know since I was never told because there is no world building. This country must actually be located in space.

Our main character has no character. Really, this felt like one long never ending sequence of her being annoying and ungrateful. I'm sorry you don't want to be surrounded by security detail, but you are suddenly royal, therefore you need protection. Therefore you have to stop complaining and grow up. And become interesting. And you are not any of these. Why? Well, that's easy...BECAUSE YOU SUCK, SAM. I just can't connect with you, nor did I really want to. Your thought processes reminded me of a petulant teenager who was jealous with anything that has legs. Seriously, your ignorant and stupid ideas of what constitutes as flirting has me convinced that Alex will go and bang a wax figurine since he must flirt with everything. And it seems that everyone in the book has cosmetics surgery since the repeated proclamation of too much cleavage showing from large-breasted girls took place in a million chapters. Way to have trust in your man, girl. On top of that, your new nickname is Captain Obvious. The entire book there is a picture talked about but avoided when you come into the room. Clearly it is of you. 

Sam can be summed up with the following explanations: No originality, too much repetition around thoughts, annoying jealousy of everything with legs, so oblivious she wouldn't realize a good book if it hit her in the face and was titled, "Best Book Ever!"

The birds were never used! This book had this awesome little note about how Samantha makes a living out of working with birds. And of course Prince Yummy's country is obsessed with birds. And, obviously, that has to serve to get the two together. And then they're never mentioned again. They were a really interesting plot aspect that could have been great and instead were forgotten in favor of a bad romance. 

The writing was weak. There wasn't much detail and the author doesn't seem to be aware of the term "show don't tell." I often felt as if I was being told everything instead of shown everything because of the lack of detail. We were literally just flat out told people's names and how they act instead of discovering it for ourselves. The editing wasn't the best. I mean, apparently the character has the "hot is" for someone instead of the "hots." This book read like a young adult novel instead of a new adult novel and there was no originality to it. I stood here the entire time drawing direct comparisons to the Princess Diaries. Where was the originality? Not here. The author relied too much on annoying and easy-way-out explanations instead of adding plot lines. Alex apparently has two siblings, but we only meet one because she's somehow essential to the plot and the other one that isn't essential to the plot is absent due to "middle child syndrome" and then never thought of again. I really don't like explanations like this, they show no thought and focus on cliche that takes away from the overall plot.

The wording was off. This goes along with the above point. Chase often tried to avoid certain words by replacing them with awkward ones that stopped sentence flow because they were so awkward. An ass isn't really an ass, it's actually a rump or rear. And the repetitiveness was frustrating and interrupted the flow as well. Sam, you were panting while he was taking off your pants?! And then you panted some more?! Not like you were say, breathing heavy, out of breath, taking in lungfuls of air, gasping for air, or anything. 

On a positive note, I now love the following three words: froufrou, frumpy, and scrumptious.

The only thing that makes this book new adult was sex, and if the sex wasn't even good then our relationship is clearly over. That pretty much explains this book. I struggled through insane and unnecessary thoughts and chapters and I get to the sex, which is the only plot point that makes this new adult and O made an appearance rather quickly. Alongside jokes while they're doing it about how they're equivalent to God, which is stupid as shit. And then there's more sex in different positions. O makes more quick appearances. Our main character suddenly realizes that it is possible to have sex without facing your partner (not like you're in graduate school or anything, dumb ass), and the world is suddenly a happy place because they rocked each others world. Did I mention that apparently the sex was an amazing workout. I mean, damn, I think I lost a solid five pounds after laughing so hard from that one. Now that was an amazing work out.

The ending was the cliche of all cliches. What, you knew each other for six months and now you're getting married? Girl, go take them naked pictures fast so you can get some mad cash like his ex! This is not the way that a relationship is supposed to be.

I'm done, I can't even rant anymore. The fact that I somehow managed not to throw out an f-bomb every other word was a miracle in itself because this book really made me give up on new adult currently. 

Other people seemed to really enjoy it. But this clearly was not for me because, well, in my opinion, it sucked. Do I think that Chase has a decent sense of humor if she's not trying to involve sex? Sure! But I think she needs to come up with a completely original plot instead of re-working a well loved one if she wants to reach a level of true success. I think that those who truly loved the Princess Diaries the way I did will leave this book feeling nothing but extreme disappointment. And if you hated the Princess Diaries, than you'll probably hate this one more.  


 1 star

~*~Links~*~

10 comments:

  1. Sorry you didn't like this one! It looked so good. I love the Princess Diaries, so the "older" version of that had me interested. And don't give up on new adult just yet ;) You may eventually find one you like.

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    1. Haha I'm not giving up just yet, but the frustration, Becca!

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    2. Oh yes, the frustration :) "Furious" was like this for me. I wanted to like it, but it really made me angry. I don't think a book has ever made me feel like that before.

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  2. All of the things you listed are pet peeves of mine in books, so I think I'll be skipping this one!

    Kate @ Ex Libris

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  3. "You're like a Monopoly board with no dice and all the cash. People play with you only because they have the potential to be rich, but all you do is waste their damn time."

    BURRRRRRRRRRRRRN!

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  4. I pretty much want to quote about, 80% of your review back to you, but that seems a bit ridiculous! This book sounds terrible!

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  5. I bet you thought I forgot you, but I did not! I am here.

    "You're like a Monopoly board with no dice and all the cash." Bahahaha. He was so awkward. Like WHOA.

    Haha, you ain't yummy unless you have a brain. Preach, girl!

    SO BORING.

    No one cares about Lilaria. All that matters is that he is conveniently a prince. Shush with your logic. :-p

    Oh my god, I'd forgotten the slut-shaming. Let's not forget how every woman who came near Prince Yummy was constantly unbuttoning her shirt.

    Poor birds.

    Man, this book was bad. Oy. My review is really short because I just could not be bothered, but that's cool because you said it all.

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    1. My review is pretty much a rant though hahaha

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