An Open Letter To My Future

Dear 2015,

I completed my third semester at college...and I cannot believe it.

My last final was December 8th and I have been in the city to enjoy it until my dorm kicks me out. All that's standing between me and my final set of grades is a single two page reaction essay. It's crazy to think that this time has flown by like it has. I'm leaving city today after staying to work, continue interning at Bloomsbury, and to move into my new dorm room...and I am done with my third semester of college.

I still can't wrap my head around it.


I attribute this to one thing alone, and that is happiness. I was absolutely miserable my freshman year. I went into college with unrealistic expectations in regards to roommates and a lot of stress from my desperation to get out of my small town and to even escape an awesome yet complicated family. And it all kind of blew up in my face. Sure, my spring semester was slightly better than my fall semester, but even then I was nowhere near the level of contentedness that I am now.

Freshman year sort of sucks no matter what because it serves as the reality check that, hey, you're about to truly enter reality. Mine was more like a repetitive smack in the face than a gentle tap on the shoulder, but this process is different for everyone. With more realistic expectations and two much better roommates, I don't know where the time has gone. I feel like I woke up thinking it was September 2nd and it's already past mid December and I am just like TIME, STOP FLYING!

You hear that, time?! Be considerate of all of us, eh?
This has seriously been the best three and a half months of my life. I have an amazing internship that I show up to three times a week with a smile on my face, even when I become a sweaty mess from the unglamorous aspects of interning. I have two great on campus jobs as a desk attendant and a tour guide. I'm part of an admittedly small but amazing book club. I have awesome classes that challenge me but are also wholeheartedly enjoyable, and I have the best friends a girl could ask for. They respond to my texts at all hours of the day and come running if I ever need anything and vice versa. I know that there are three people in my life that will be in my life for years to come, and there's nothing so satisfying as knowing that these feelings are genuine and reciprocated.

It took me a semester back home this summer and away from all these things to realize how happy I am at college and how much I do love my school, all things aside, to make me fully appreciate my return.

Realistically, one will have their ups and downs no matter where they attend. Not only are you embarking on the biggest journey of self-discovery ever, you're dealing with an education, the stressful and unforgiving prospect of the future, and thousands of other young twenty-something's doing the exact same thing as you. It's scary. It leads to friend problems, fighting, the constant inner feeling of being a nervous wreck here and there.

And then, miraculously, you manage to get everything together and open your eyes to a new day and everything is just so much better. 


What happens at college is a lot about the type of environment you choose to surround yourself with, but also the people, too. I have cut many people out of my life this year, both bloggers and in real life, and while it is a hard process it is one that has to be done to stabilize yourself and to move forward. Negative atmospheres are a hindrance that should be removed immediately, so don't allow them to hinder you. If you find yourself surrounded by negative people, in a negative place, or you have any type of (probably deserved) paranoia, hold your head up high and walk away. You'll be doing a huge justice to yourself and you won't regret it when you see how life-changing such a hard thing can be.

I'm realizing that one's college experience alongside their regular everyday lives is often thanks to their mindset above all else, though. I am in a much better place this semester than where I was all of last year, and now that I've gotten a taste of my true potential and what I can do with my time and my abilities, I am not going to stop. I sit here in my dorm bed, knowing I don't even have a week's left of nights in it and I am both anxious at the thought of returning home and excited to come back in six weeks time. 

But, at this point, all I've got to say to my future is bring it on. 


I'm running full-tilt toward ya and I am freakin' ready.

Love,
Lili

P.S. I dare you to beat 2014. 

This has been a college blogging 101 post to signify that, damn, things do get better!

7 comments:

  1. I enjoyed this post a lot, Lili! I felt the same way after my freshman year of college, particularly the first semester. It was a new stage for me, one where I was moving to a new place, meeting all these new people and trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life - which is a crazy cocktail of things that make me emotional. At the end of the day, my experience shifted into something I truly treasure now, even if I still haven't figured out the whole life thing. I'm so thrilled that you feel happy about where you are, and I assure you - things will continue getting better ;)

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    1. I graduated a few years ago, but I remember well how much I hated freshman year. Like you, I definitely had high expectations. Sophomore year and beyond were so much better. Glad to hear you're liking school better now, and I look forward to reading more of your book reviews in 2015!

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    2. Alexa: Ahhh, I'm so happy you enjoyed this post. Your comment pretty much sums everything up perfectly. Complicated & crazy & super insane, but worth it in the end. Nowhere to go but up, even if there are some dips in the road here and there!

      Aubrey:Thank you for stopping by! I think that the process has to start off complicated in order for one to truly appreciate the amazingness that is college, you know? It truly does have so much to offer!

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  2. I feel so proud to have "met" you during you best semester ;) I definitely went through a bummed out period at the beginning of the semester despite still living at home. I hated not knowing anyone because they all dormed, but hanging out with you really started to make things better!

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    1. Ahhh Dana <3 I adore you, and I know you know that! I'm happy you contributed to making this semester so great! (I'm kinda jealous of your ability to not have to deal with dorm drama at times though!)

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  3. While I don't have the experience of moving away for school, dealing with dorm mates and all the rest, I do think a lot of these lessons are universal and we will all have to learn them one way or another. For me, it happened right around the same time as you, and instead of a college dorm, it was just moving out of my parents' house in general. When you get to a certain age, you just have to cull the extra baggage and the things that are weighing you down. I'm so happy you got yourself out of that dark place you were in last year. I love seeing a happier Lili. <3

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    1. Thank you, Bekka! <3 I love being happier in general, too! I don't even know what to say, this comment just made me smile. But such things are definitely universal, for sure. And for those who claim they don't feel them, we all know they're kinda lying.

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