Stop The Goodreads Creepers


I don't know about you guys, but I love Goodreads. I don't really care that Amazon bought it out and that it doesn't have half stars, even though I wish it did. I tend to not be part of the drama or bullying or trolling because I use it more to track what I read and organize my bookish thoughts on shelves. I don't even post my reviews there anymore because that's what this blog is for.

But I'm really starting to hate it because there is nothing more sucky than logging into Goodreads and seeing I have a message, opening it, and seeing it's a creep. A lot of my messages are about possible trades, some of my author friends, even some friends who I messaged about one of their reviews to talk books. And then sometimes there are creeps.

My initial goal for this post was to go back in my messages for about a year, but I didn't have the patience because I found enough by simply going back to June 2014. So, let's take a tour of Lili's inbox starting from the most recent messages...

March 21, 2015
March 11, 2015
December 12, 2014
July 14, 2014
The reason this one creeps me out is because it was an obvious open line to hit on me by trying to show he has interest.
July 7, 2014
July 1, 2014
June 25, 2014
Coming on WAYYYYY to strong, buddy. Who said I wanted to be worshiped?

So, once I hit this point I felt as if my point has been made and I also got lazy because I've had a Goodreads account since 2013 and these are all the creepy messages that I didn't delete in frustration since June 25, 2014. So in roughly 9 months, I have these seven messages, plus at least another three more that pissed me off so much I just deleted them so I would never have to look at them again.

All of these messages came in out of nowhere with no provocation from myself, and for the few who are "[Creeper's name here] said: blah blah blah" it's because they are responses to my friend request question which is simply, "why do you want to be my friend?" So, these creeps want to be my friend because they think I'm pretty after viewing a tiny profile picture on Goodreads. For all they know, I'm catfishing them! I'm not, you guys have seen videos of me, obviously, but my point is that there's no provocation or even a necessity for these notes. What if I was married? What if I was lying about my age and I was actually only 14 years old posing as someone older to meet website guidelines or because I didn't want to feel awkward reading books my peers may deem inappropriate for various reasons? (I know a little kid that did this, who is now not ashamed that she is advanced for her age).

I've changed my picture three different times, at least, throughout the duration of these messages. They're all just pictures of my head, and instead of being flattered by their behavior I'm creeped out. Goodreads is an online book community that I use purely on my own. I don't post on message boards or engage with people that are not my friends, so why are these guys seeking me out and popping my perfect little peaceful bubble? Why are they making my little happy place seemingly unsafe because they're hitting on me, and I'm sure, many other women, because we are simply women with an online profile on a website not meant for online dating or any romantic relationships whatsoever? Is this what society has come to?

I've taken to posting screenshots of my gross encounters on Twitter, and there's always a huge amount of Feedback among the lines of "I hate when this happens!" "Goodreads is not a dating site!" "Ew!" "That's gross!" and so much more. So my solution is simple...I'm making a post here telling all these guys that they suck, I don't like their behavior, and it creeps me out. As a twenty-something female, I shouldn't be receiving creepy unwanted and unprovoked messages on a BOOK MONITORING WEBSITE. If I was on a dating site, fine, but I have not said anywhere that I have a desire for this, so why are they trying to take advantage of a female-dominated community by doing this? If I messaged a hot guy on a website, "Hey, I think you're hot!" odds are he would ignore me, maybe show his friends my message and laugh, and not respond. So what makes it okay for them to do that, but not for me to do so?

I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the creeps and the fact that they feel like they are allowed to do this, that if they don't get a response they just move on to a ton of other girls with the same copied and pasted message, which I know to be true because it happened to my friend. Stop the preying, and the creepiness, and the fact that they view a website I enjoy for the use its meant for as a way to find women. Stop with the inappropriateness and making me feel like I can't post a picture of my head on the Internet with no inappropriate aspect to it whatsoever without being made uncomfortable. JUST STOP.

Have you had any negative Goodreads experiences? Tell me about them below or make your own post to stop the Goodreads creepers. Do what you want to do, but it feels good to rant! This has been a PSA on why I really hate being told I have a new message on Goodreads.

17 comments:

  1. Oh god, I have those as well. "You are so beautiful. You must be so popular." <- What the hell? Or "Would you like me to write a story about you?" NO. Just.. no. Ew. No.

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  2. I actually just denied a request from 'Matt' last night! He didn't send me a creepy message like you, but if I'm not mistaken, he had more friends than books and I just don't like that. I'm.glad I denied that request now! I'll never understand what people are thinking when they do stuff like that.

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    1. If you have more friends than books, you're on the wrong website. lol

      I don't know either. I don't know if I want to, though, because it takes a certain kind of person to turn a book website into a dating website.

      Delete
  3. Gosh, these are so annoying. It's crazy how many you get! WOW! X_X I've gotten a few but not enough for me to think about it too much. But, to be honest, I don't really go through or approve friend requests that often. I have tons that are just sitting there pending... Who knows what they say.

    I honestly don't use Goodreads much anymore. If I do use it, it's just to add books to my shelves. But other than that, I don't actually talk to people on there.

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    1. It's not just friend requests for me, a lot of them are unsolicited messages. Most of them are, actually.

      I don't talk to people on there either so I am like WHY DO THE CREEPERS LIKE ME!?

      Delete
  4. Jeez, this is gross. I'm so sorry you're having to go through it. It's sad to think that dozens of women probably got the same spam. =\

    It's funny how, instead of sending you a friendly message and trying to talk about your shared interest (you know, how normal people get to know each other), they'd rather immediately go for the creepy message that has much less of a chance of being responded to.

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    1. Hundreds of women do, if I had to guess!

      Right?!

      Delete
  5. I get these same types of emails on a continual basis, and you are absolutely right. It is INCREDIBLY creepy. I am 32 years old, happily married, and have absolutely no interest in dealing with this type of behavior in any place, internet or otherwise, but especially not on Goodreads. I mean, seriously?! With all of the websites out there that are practically made for this, why do you come to Goodreads, of all places? It is frustrating, it is aggravating, and it absolutely needs to stop. I wonder if a bunch of people who get messages like these shared them all with each other, and GR, if we would see a bunch of the same people, profiles? Either way, it is sickening, and somehow it needs to be brought to an end. I am so glad that you had the courage to actually say something. I just get sick, and delete them. I think I am going to save them from now on, and maybe something can be done about it.

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    1. This entire comment is just perfect.

      I haven't even saved all of mine because I have deleted the super bad ones in frustration, but I don't know what can be done about it, so I decided to make this post to see what would happen. lol Perhaps if enough of us do it, the creepers will have to be handled properly. (finally)

      Delete
  6. But they obviously want you...

    This is so weird haha. They need to get a handle on their spammers, because it goes far beyond this. Your situations are just the creepiest.

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    1. HAH!

      I seriously attract the creepers in all aspects of my life, though.

      Delete
  7. That's so annoying! I get stuff like this on Twitter, but I always figured it was because I have a very spammable handle (@alisa). I have NEVER gotten this on Goodreads though. D:

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  8. Wow! I had no idea this was going on! I haven't posted a pic on GoodReads yet, but I don't think I would have this problem. For one thing, I'm not 20 something anymore and haven't been for a long time and for another, I usually use a picture of my cat, of me and my cat with him in the foreground or a picture of my back at my desk.
    I am horrified for you! I don't have issue with making friends on GoodReads and discussing books, but come on! Is nowhere safe?
    Tammy @ Bo's Book Nook

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    1. I feel like nowhere is safe at times like this!

      A picture of a cat is such a good solution! Smart idea.

      Delete
  9. Funny- one of the guys who messaged you also messaged me. I currently have one on the line that I'm considering blocking. When my pics are of my pets and I, it doesn't happen. When it's just my pic with my usual smile, it never freaking ends. I've considered using a pic of my brother and I so I don't get hassled as much.
    (Sorry I'm just stopping by now- I was wondering if anyone else had this happen so I Googled it).
    ~Litha Nelle

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