But I'm really starting to hate it because there is nothing more sucky than logging into Goodreads and seeing I have a message, opening it, and seeing it's a creep. A lot of my messages are about possible trades, some of my author friends, even some friends who I messaged about one of their reviews to talk books. And then sometimes there are creeps.
My initial goal for this post was to go back in my messages for about a year, but I didn't have the patience because I found enough by simply going back to June 2014. So, let's take a tour of Lili's inbox starting from the most recent messages...
March 21, 2015
December 12, 2014
July 14, 2014
The reason this one creeps me out is because it was an obvious open line to hit on me by trying to show he has interest.July 7, 2014
July 1, 2014
June 25, 2014
|Coming on WAYYYYY to strong, buddy. Who said I wanted to be worshiped?|
So, once I hit this point I felt as if my point has been made and I also got lazy because I've had a Goodreads account since 2013 and these are all the creepy messages that I didn't delete in frustration since June 25, 2014. So in roughly 9 months, I have these seven messages, plus at least another three more that pissed me off so much I just deleted them so I would never have to look at them again.
All of these messages came in out of nowhere with no provocation from myself, and for the few who are "[Creeper's name here] said: blah blah blah" it's because they are responses to my friend request question which is simply, "why do you want to be my friend?" So, these creeps want to be my friend because they think I'm pretty after viewing a tiny profile picture on Goodreads. For all they know, I'm catfishing them! I'm not, you guys have seen videos of me, obviously, but my point is that there's no provocation or even a necessity for these notes. What if I was married? What if I was lying about my age and I was actually only 14 years old posing as someone older to meet website guidelines or because I didn't want to feel awkward reading books my peers may deem inappropriate for various reasons? (I know a little kid that did this, who is now not ashamed that she is advanced for her age).
I've changed my picture three different times, at least, throughout the duration of these messages. They're all just pictures of my head, and instead of being flattered by their behavior I'm creeped out. Goodreads is an online book community that I use purely on my own. I don't post on message boards or engage with people that are not my friends, so why are these guys seeking me out and popping my perfect little peaceful bubble? Why are they making my little happy place seemingly unsafe because they're hitting on me, and I'm sure, many other women, because we are simply women with an online profile on a website not meant for online dating or any romantic relationships whatsoever? Is this what society has come to?
I've taken to posting screenshots of my gross encounters on Twitter, and there's always a huge amount of Feedback among the lines of "I hate when this happens!" "Goodreads is not a dating site!" "Ew!" "That's gross!" and so much more. So my solution is simple...I'm making a post here telling all these guys that they suck, I don't like their behavior, and it creeps me out. As a twenty-something female, I shouldn't be receiving creepy unwanted and unprovoked messages on a BOOK MONITORING WEBSITE. If I was on a dating site, fine, but I have not said anywhere that I have a desire for this, so why are they trying to take advantage of a female-dominated community by doing this? If I messaged a hot guy on a website, "Hey, I think you're hot!" odds are he would ignore me, maybe show his friends my message and laugh, and not respond. So what makes it okay for them to do that, but not for me to do so?
I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the creeps and the fact that they feel like they are allowed to do this, that if they don't get a response they just move on to a ton of other girls with the same copied and pasted message, which I know to be true because it happened to my friend. Stop the preying, and the creepiness, and the fact that they view a website I enjoy for the use its meant for as a way to find women. Stop with the inappropriateness and making me feel like I can't post a picture of my head on the Internet with no inappropriate aspect to it whatsoever without being made uncomfortable. JUST STOP.
Have you had any negative Goodreads experiences? Tell me about them below or make your own post to stop the Goodreads creepers. Do what you want to do, but it feels good to rant! This has been a PSA on why I really hate being told I have a new message on Goodreads.